A struggle within.

For the past few years I’ve secretly struggled with rejection.  Yes, I know, “What kind of weak struggle is that?!”  It’s a struggle nonetheless, and it’s rooted in an even deeper struggle with God‘s acceptance.  I would want to fit in, and be a part of any and every clique, group, or subculture that would accept me. There was one problem, I would put these people’s acceptance of me over the acceptance God has already granted me in Jesus, making my pursuit a sinful one. I write about this post in hopes that other people would read this, and be compelled to repent and be freed from this sin.

I was always taught that the struggle with rejection came as a consequence to previous events.  No father in the house hold, no mother in the house hold,  not being accepted in school, or no positive reinforcement for good deeds growing up.  In part this is all true, yet it isn’t sufficient.  Deep down inside I had a “God-Sized” void that only God could fill, and I couldn’t come to grips with it.  Even after my conversion I struggled with receiving God’s acceptance in Jesus.

I finally caught a hold on the extreme love, and acceptance God our Father gives us in His son Jesus.  After years of struggling, experiencing defeat after defeat, crying to every leader I had, to no avail, I just gave up.  When I gave up, that’s when His love felt the strongest.  Understanding that John 1:12-13 was indeed true, and that by God’s will I was made a Child of His, through receiving Jesus.  What a glorious night that was, I repented, and I worshiped My King, because of the grace He’s had toward me.

I still revert back to grasping for people’s acceptance but that never lasts long. I snap out of it when I remember God’s Word’s through the prophet Isaiah “Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me” – Isaiah 49:16.  Read it for yourself

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About mypentecostalreformation

Disciple of Jesus. Hobbiless big guy with a wife & Kid. Writing to encourage and maybe enlight the masses (all 5 of you)
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One Response to A struggle within.

  1. Brad Stanton says:

    Hi I am following your blog, and just now I put your blog on my list of blogs that I follow on my front page (right hand column, towards the bottom).That helps u get more visitors to your blog in at least a couple of ways. Would you consider doing the same for me? I have a Christian blog, like u.
    Come and visit mine sometime http://www.bradstanton.com Have a great week, love your photo’s.

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