When I was a teenager, I had the absolute biggest crush on a gorgeous girl. I mean, I was really into her. I’d visit her everyday; you know things little boys do when they like a girl. She was my first kiss, my best friend, and I thought she liked me…since we kissed and all. Unfortunately for me, she wasn’t as fond of me as I was of her. When the right time came, and all of the circumstances were aligned I grew a pair, and opened up to her about my feelings. To my dismay, she would have no part of it. Even though she let me down easy with the “Brother” speech, I took it like a brick bullet to the chest….you know the “Brother” speech, it goes a little something like this, verbatim.
“You know I love you like a brother. I couldn’t see you in that way.
You and I would mess our friendship up if we were to get together.”
Bitterness, anger, feelings of inadequacy, and self-consciousness set in after that night. I never wanted to treat a lady well after that. I was in and out of different relationships in perpetual fear of getting hurt again. I didn’t understand at the time, why I was the way I was. It wasn’t until Christ found me that I began to understand what my pastor spoke of when he said to forgive those who hurt me in the past. When I forgave my friend I was set free, I was set free to love, and free to be loved by another person without being scared of being hurt. I even confessed all my anguish to my friend, and I told her I forgive her. She’s still a great friend.
Has some one hurt you? It doesn’t have to be something like my experience to cause unforgiveness. People fall short of our expectations all the time. The reasons for the short comings are because people aren’t perfect, and the reason for our offense is because we hold people to such a high standard. We have to first and foremost remember that no one is perfect except for God (Romans 3:10-18). Secondly we have to forgive those who offend us, because who are we to hold back forgiveness, when we all deserve God’s wrath for the offenses we commit against God.(Col 3:13)
We are all born enemies of God, and we all deserve death. But because God is good and just he chose to save sinners for His glory. Who are we to deny someone forgiveness when we are freely forgiven? Whether someone messed you up mentally, emotionally, or physically harmed you, as hard as it is FORGIVE!! You are not only setting yourself free from that person’s control, but you’re demonstrating the love God has given you. The Apostle Paul rightly says in the letter to the Colossians 3:13 “Forgiving each other, as The Lord has forgiven you.”, and in the letter to the Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”